| once and for all. |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|11:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
i feel like there's no need for me to justify or explain why i chose not to go overseas to study.
but since everyone is making my decision their issue and being judgmental about it then here it is, okay?
although YOU may think that going overseas is the best thing that can happen to you, i think otherwise.
if i can do what i want to do in Singapore then why waste the extra money to go overseas to study? i know my parents can afford it but the true question is, is it necessary? in the long run, frankly, the paper chase is still just the paper chase. ultimately i will still have a degree that my employer will probably only see once, if at all. my career and my future relies on my capabilities and competence in this field. I honestly believe that the qualifications i obtain in Singapore will allow me to attain the same goal of being a producer, as if i got a degree from overseas.
People have told me that i missed out the chance to experience life overseas and enjoy being in a different country. however, one must put the ultimate goal in mind when paving the road for your future. at this point in time, should i leave to further my studies i would leave behind the contacts that i've accumulated while working since internship. if your goal is to carve a career for yourself overseas then i would say go for it! but personally, i feel that many things in this industry that i am in depends on the people you know and the contacts that you accumulate over the years. if i leave for 2 years and come back i would have to start on a clean slate. and i absolutely intend on carving a career for myself in Singapore.
AND as many of you know, I LIVED OVERSEAS FOR 6 YEARS OF MY LIFE. people who haven't stayed overseas before think that its so easy and so much glitz and glamour, but let me tell you this, you do not know how much Singapore has taken care of you and protected you and made sure that we are more or less SAFE domestically and internationally in terms of politics and relations with other countries, until you've experienced life overseas. (but that's another story for another day... how Singaporeans take being Singaporean for granted, from the simple things like safety to things like how a Singaporean passport allows entry into many countries) Also, there's the issue of racism, which people here think is joke because we are so racially harmonious in Singapore. Truth be told, till the day you experience being discriminated because of your SKIN COLOUR, you will NEVER know what it feels like to be discriminated, ostracized and judged based on your appearances rather than your merit.
some of you will say that i wasted the chance to live on my own and be self-reliant and independent. I actually enjoy being in a close knit family. i enjoy the company of my family and friends, unlike other people i know. I love it how when i am sick or i fell and scraped my knee that i have my family as my support. even my dog came to lick my wound and was so gentle with me when he realized i was sick! I think it is fantastic to have your family as emotional support because you KNOW there is NO WAY in the world your family will deliberately hurt you and/or backstab you neither will they abandon you. sure, there are times when you are angry with them. but ultimately you KNOW they are the people who love you the most. moreover, should i go to aussie, i will be absolutely on my own without a single friend or family in Perth. not to be dramatic, but knowing my slightly self-destructive nature (i.e. booze and cigarettes) and my issue with food and the problem of not eating it, i don't think its healthy to be somewhere without any emotional support and/or left alone bored with nothing to do but a pack of cigarettes. Hence, if i can do what i want to do here, why should i risk all that?!
and of course there is the factor of my new found love. i shall not deny that it is a contributing factor to my decision. However, it is not the sole factor that tipped the scale. it merely added one more pro in the "stay in Singapore" column. frankly, one of the bigger mistakes in my life was to chose to enter TP CMM because i wanted to be close to my then-bastard-of-an-ex-boyfriend. i knew very logically that NP's mass comm is the more renowned and reputable option and frankly, i would have been able to get in without any problems with my L1R4 score. Having made that mistake once, trust me, i've learnt from my mistake. to me, it is a bonus that on top of pursuing my goal i get to stay by his side. i go into relationships hoping to marry the person i'm with, if not to me its a waste of time. (again another story for another day about how i go into relationships very optimistic, which explains why i think i can live with everyone for the rest of my life, until i find out that i can't live with them or in this case, can't live without him.)
how did i come to the decision? after working in the industry for awhile, my dreams changed. i no longer want to be a writer/director. it was a naive dream to begin with and i admit (after seeing other people's work) that i don't have a talent for script writing (in fact, the module in poly drove me nuts! my dialogue was so lame!) neither do i have a talent for directing people because i'm just so impatient and in the heat of the moment i don't exactly express myself very well. rather, in the past 2 years one of the jobs i can see myself doing is an entertainment related producer, i.e. producer for a variety program. i just think it suits my personality more. nothing too serious. brewing up creative ways to entertain people. so while i'm not confident in writing/directing, i feel absolutely confident that if given a chance i would ACE the job as a producer. and the main reason why i wanted to go to perth was to take screen and sound, but what's the point in that now when i don't want to be a director/writer anymore?! (analogy - going to england to study biology with the intention of coming back home to be an engineer)
but then again, for all we know, i might use this PR degree and become a PR executive. i will definitely give PR a chance... (goal upon graduation) i WILL work in the PR industry for a bit and then decide which route to take. so in terms of PR i still have to take a step in and take a peek into the industry. but as for broadcast media, this is the road i've chosen because i am confident of my career path, and sure that not going overseas will not hinder my chances.
so my question is, why go overseas for the fun of it (to experience life abroad/be independent) when there is no need to?? need is NOT THE SAME as want. i don't want to. and i don't need to either. so..................... the most logical answer would be to stay in Singapore, save that sum of money (which in this case studying in Singapore is 1/3 of going overseas) and still be as fabulous as i want to be.
many of you will say that i refuse to leave my comfort zone, which to some extent is true. but frankly i see no need to fly 4 hours away from home to prove to you that i have the guts to do or be somewhere that is not familiar to me. i find it stupendously unnecessary. so stop being judgmental and putting everyone against your yard stick. its not about you or your decision. if you want to go overseas so much, THEN GO.
this is my life, my career, my future. it's about me. i make the decisions to MY life and I won't change my life because you can't live yours. either you support me or you don't. and if you don't then i don't need to be your friend.
so in the meantime, get off your high horse.
end of story. end of discussion. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7){kind=small}
liliankhoo's journal
loved